Our mental health journey...
Hi everyone!
We hope you are well and have been enjoying taking part in our 31 day October Mental Health Challenge? If you haven't started yet, don't worry, it's never too late! Check out the challenge in last weeks email...
In today's email we wanted to honour World Mental Health Day (10th October) and share a little of our past and why we created SMASH London. Some of you may have heard these stories before, but many of the newer community members have not heard why we felt compelled to create a class that focuses on mental health, as much as physical. We are so proud of what we have achieved so far and are eternally thankful to each and every one of you for allowing SMASH London to be more than we ever dreamed it could be!
Sam
I grew up in Manchester with my parents and little brother, 18 months younger than me. Throughout my childhood we didn't have a lot of money, but we had everything we needed! My parents also fostered children so I had 22 brothers and sisters over the years.
From my teenage years I developed a love for alcohol and used it to drink to extremes, often to the point of throwing up and usually to avoid dealing with the 'friends' that I had allowed to control my life. This drinking stayed with me for years, moving to Cardiff, Hungerford and then Swindon. When me and my first boyfriend bought a house together in 2008, my drinking was at its worst point, a point where we were both aware that it was a problem and that I had to do something about it, but it took me another year to reach my 'rock bottom', to the point of losing everything I loved, to act. I knew I was an alcoholic.
Fortunately, in March 2009 I had a 'lightbulb moment' that I could never drink again and from that point on I haven't touched a drop. I started experiencing life as if seeing it for the first time, becoming more social, trying new things, looking after my physical and mental health. There were still a few wobbles along the way - one in particular was that I'd become so obsessed with calorie counting and exercise that I dropped from a size 20 to a size 8 in the space of a year, and yet still felt that I had more to lose. This was proof that there are many types of addiction.
When I turned 30 a few years later I knew I needed a big change. I ended my relationship, travelled for a year, moved to London and qualified as a personal trainer. I gained a whole new respect for my body and added much more mindfulness into my life.
I started a new job at Fitness First Angel and my new boss was some dude called Ash....
The much longer version of my story is here...
Ash
My mental health journey has had many ups and downs over the years, starting from an early age. From the age of 8 I suffered with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Thankfully I never had to receive treatment for this so I'm very aware that it could have been worse, but it was certainly much more than being very tidy (this isn't what OCD is!) and I still have a mild form of it today where it can affect my mood and thoughts unless I keep it in check.
Growing up gay has it's own affect on your mental health - the feeling that you are different, that you don't fit in and knowing that society (in the 80s and 90s) thought there was something 'wrong' with you can stay with you for a lifetime. I'm lucky I had a very supportive family around me and that I was able to be myself and be happy with that, but I know, as most gay people do, that what you learn when you are young can never be completely forgotten. As you grow you do your best to rewire your response to those feelings, if you are shown how, and I'm thankful that I have been able to do just that. My mental health is better because of it.
During my early thirties I was at my lowest point due to personal problems, in particular problems that were affecting my family that I was trying constantly to fix. I eventually saw my GP, as I recognised I had symptoms of depression, and was fortunate enough to have a one-off counselling session. This session introduced me to mindfulness (something I would have rolled my eyes at in my 20s!) and I'm so glad that it did - it transformed my life! It took time to realise but I eventually recognised that my mental health was getting stronger by the day and I believe it was down to my mindfulness practise - meditation, gratitude, positive affirmations and more!
Grief has certainly affected my happiness as I have lost some important people in my life over the years. My Aunt (my Mum's twin sister) who I was very close to died when I was 11, and I lost my Dad to leukaemia when I was 21. I saw him pass in front of me and it's something that I feel affected my mental health in my twenties - I knew how easily those you love could be taken away. When my brother Dean died earlier this year, I know that it's my mindfulness practise, and my much more positive mindset, that helped me nurture and look after my broken heart.
Mental health is so unique to all of us, yet we can share so many similar aspects of our journey. I've highlighted just a few lows in mine, there are certainly more that I will cover in future emails, but the most important thing is that I'm happier than I've ever been. Once I took control (as much as you can!) and made time to strengthen my mental health, I knew I wanted to help others do the same. Sam and I discussed how we could do it in a fitness setting and in June 2017, SMASH was born...
SMASH
The reason we love to share our stories is to show that we are just two normal people, learning from our past experiences in order to encourage our community to see the strength you have within!
We bonded over the love of musicals and mindfulness and soon became friends. We took a holiday to Valencia in 2017 with the plan to create a class with a difference, and launched it a couple of weeks later... to a bemused class expecting body pump! But it was a start. Over the last 3 years we have adapted and moulded our brand based on you guys. Almost all of the opportunities that have come our way have happened organically because of you, and we are so proud of what SMASH London has become. Whether you have been with us since class number 1, or you have been in the SMASH community through our emails only, we are grateful for you.
All of you.
Let's honour World Mental Health Day by honouring ourselves. It's been quite a journey, hasn't it? And look, here you are. Still strong, still loved and with so much to look forward to!
Thank you x
Sam and Ash
